"C" is for Cockerham

Thursday, May 26, 2011

"C" is for Cache (cont.)

The milk monster is back, and so is my supply! YAY! I had to give myself a break from Tully updates on the blog last week and earlier this week until things were back to normal. It was really rough these past few weeks. There were days when Tully wouldn't nurse more than a few minutes because I didn't have much milk. I pumped like a madwoman though, including getting up not once but twice (2am and 5am) each night, while Tully slept peacefully. This made for one very tired momma, but it was SO worth it. I have three, count them, THREE bottles of pumped milk in the fridge, and just recently I have been able to give Tully a full feeding without the bottle at all. When I started out, Tully was nursing for a couple minutes and then getting 3-4 oz of formula. Then when I started pumping we would give him breastmilk from the bottle and then formula. He was still taking 2-4 oz or more from the bottle. Breastmilk can stay room temp for up to four hours, so my milk rarely made it to the fridge.

In addition to pumping I had lots of support from John and my mom, and a neighborhood girl started coming by for a few hours on MWF to help with laundry, dishes, and dinner. This reduced my stress tremendously, which definitely helped my supply increase. I bought Fenugreek supplements and saw an immediate improvement too, but now I smell like maple syrup! I also went to another LLL meeting to talk with other breastfeeding moms and visited the lactation consultant a couple times, which made me feel so much better. The lactation consultant also raised a really good point while I was visiting with her. I was doing an elimination diet (no milk, nuts, eggs), but Tully was getting cow milk-based formula. If he had a problem with cow milk proteins in my milk, he should exhibit the same problems with the formula. Since this was not the case, I reintroduced milk, followed by nuts and eggs, into my diet. It was SO hard not to eat things with milk, so I'm happy to be eating "normally" again.

It's been three weeks since our last doctor's visit and my baby boy has gained another pound and a half (we stopped by for a quick weigh in with the lactation consultant last night). It feels so good to have him nursing again, and I can't wait for our 2 month appointment next week! I'm also happy to not be mixing up stinky formula or washing 500 bottles a day. It was such a pain to pack up all of the formula and bottle supplies just to leave the house. Nursing him is a thousand times easier for sure!

Here is Tully's one month photo with Lambsy. He looks so tiny here. He'll be two months next week, and it will be fun to compare the pics. He has outgrown all of his newborn clothes, shoes, and diapers. We're on to size 1 now!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

"C" is for Cure

Last weekend we took a road trip to Texas for Head for the Cure 5K - North Texas. The event was organized in honor of my friend, Stevie, who was diagnosed with brain cancer last year (See "C" is for Crowder). They expected about 500 people to run and fundraising of about $25,000 from registrations, donations, and sponsorships. The primary beneficiary of Head for the Cure is the Brain Tumor Trials Collaborative (BTTC), a group of highly respected and dedicated doctors in a network of renowned medical centers. Led by MD Anderson Cancer Center, the BTTC has grown to more than 15 member institutions and has experienced unparalleled advancements in the research of alternative treatments of malignant brain tumors. Research studies, also known as clinical trials, are being conducted to learn of promising advances to cancer prevention, diagnosis and treatments that are safe and effective. Funds raised through the Head for the Cure Foundation provided the seed money to help launch the BTTC, and Head For the Cure remains committed to supporting the BTTC and its mission with ongoing financial support.

Registrants were able to create teams and do team fundraising too. We wore our pink and black shirts to support Stevie. Many people were inspired to run in honor of someone they knew, and they had a nice ceremony after the event to honor several survivors, including Stevie. It was very touching, and TEAM STEVIE had the largest team and raised the most funds! Hopefully some of the money raised at this event will help researchers find a cure! I also have to give a big shout out to Shari, Dusti, Tyler, and Tricia for making the event such a huge success. Your hard work really paid off, ladies. The event was awesome and so well organized!

The final results for the Head for the Cure 5K - North Texas event were astounding:

2,219 registered runners (500 expected, remember?!)
126 volunteers
283 TEAM STEVIE members$11,415 TEAM STEVIE fundraising
$152,000 total fundraising for brain cancer research at MD Anderson (a little more than the $25K they hoped for, right?!)

This was Tully's first 5K to complete, and we definitely didn't set any records. As a matter of fact, we walked with John and Grammy, but it was a lot of fun. I'm hoping to restart the Couch to 5K program I was doing during my pregnancy (See "C" is for C25K) and complete a 5K sometime this year. I was able to jog easily starting a couple weeks ago, but Tully's hectic schedule hasn't allowed for much free time for exercise. Hopefully that changes soon!

Here are some more photos from the event. John did an awesome job capturing everything, especially when we were doing the actual 5K. Thanks, sweets!

Starting line

Me and Tricia, the TEAM STEVIE captain

Helping Tricia with TEAM STEVIE shirts

Stevie (pink shirt w/ mic) kicks off the event

After kicking off the event, Stevie put in her earbuds and got serious running!

My dad ran the event. Go Paw Paw!

Mom and I about to cross the finish line with Tully

Stevie gets a sneak peek of Tully after the race

Sonic was one of the event sponsors

Hanging out at the TEAM STEVIE picnic after the race

Me and Stevie after the picnic

John took a nap

Head for the Cure will be an annual event in Frisco, TX, so mark your calendar for May 19, 2012!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"C" is for Cache

I have good news, and I have bad news. First, the good. My content baby is back!! No more crying, and he's sleeping 6+ hours through the night again. A quick visit with our pediatrician, Dr. Alka Sood, and the problem (See "C" is for Crying) was fixed. After listening to the story of Tully's last couple weeks, Dr. Sood determined that Tully was not getting enough to eat. No overfeeding. No gas. No reflux. Simply hungry. She noticed Tully wasn't gaining weight properly, and I told her I had just fed him while we were waiting, so she came back with a bottle of formula. My mom saw my jaw hit the floor. I was not ready for bottles, and I was definitely not interested in giving him formula. Dr. Sood assured me that one bottle of formula would not undo all of my hard work over the last month, and she needed to see if he would take it to help determine if her hunch that he was hungry was really the issue. It took him a few minutes, but once he figured out the bottle, he sucked down the formula like he hadn't eaten all day. Poor little guy was so hungry. Since I was exclusively breastfeeding I've carried around a lot of guilt after finding this out. Tully was really thriving the first few weeks, and he was still putting out lots of dirty diapers. He was gaining weight like a champ, but all of that changed in a matter of days, which leads to the bad news. My supply is low. I think several factors contributed to this decrease with stress being #1. In order to increase my supply I have to nurse as often as possible and pump in between. I can barely find two free seconds to go to the bathroom or feed myself much less an extra 10-15 minutes to pump a minimum of 8 times per day. I won't mention all the time it takes to clean pump parts and bottles. And after Tully peed all over himself and my living room, and my dog, Zach, puked up some small dead animal on the rug yesterday afternoon, I was convinced I needed help. So in my attempt to eliminate as much stress as possible, I called in for backup from John, my mom, and a neighborhood girl who will start helping during the day until the nanny starts full-time in June. Fingers crossed that my cache of milk returns, and I can do away with the formula for good. I'm okay with some bottle feeding using breast milk, especially since it gives John and my mom a chance to feed the baby, but I'm really missing all of the one-on-one time Tully and I had during our nursing sessions. He has to work super hard to eat, which makes him sleepy, so our time together is limited for now.

I should also mention when all of Tully's fussiness started, I eliminated dairy, nuts, and eggs from my diet on the off chance that he had an intolerance to one of those things. He also had some really bad infant acne that was on his face and neck. Looking back now I'm now I'm not sure that my diet had anything to do with his fussiness, and I'm left wondering if the lack of protein and calcium isn't contributing to my low supply. I'm leaning towards reintroducing at least milk, so I can eat regular food again. (Milk is hidden in EVERYTHING!) I'm hoping his little face stays clear. If not, no milk for me.

On another note--if someone needs fire kindling, I have a copy of the Babywise book that you're welcome to have. We will no longer be implementing any two or three hour schedules in this household, and there will be ZERO more days of crying it out in the crib. It felt wrong when I was doing it, and my instincts were right. Demand feeding is the best option for our family. I know I can't blame a book for my decisions, but the concepts we implemented from Babywise definitely contributed to Tully's unhappiness and weightloss. I think it's a good idea for new moms to read the book to arm themselves with as much information as possible, but boy do I regret the days of trying to make Babywise work.

Also, a huge thank you to all of the moms, friends, and blog followers who provided encouraging words when I was trying to figure things out. It was a rough week, and I really appreciated the comments and messages. I was also really encouraged when I took Tully back in for his follow-up appointment yesterday. Dr. Sood informed me he had gained AN ENTIRE POUND in three days. This is huge! Now that all the crying is behind us, I need to snap a one month photo of the little guy. He's already 5 weeks old!

Here's a sweet pic my mom took of me and John during Tully's newborn photo shoot few weeks back. John has been really patient and supportive through all of the craziness. I know he's relieved to have our happy baby back too!

Monday, May 2, 2011

"C" is for Crying

We survived the newborn photoshoot a couple weeks ago, but it didn't happen without some tears from both mommy and Tully. Poor Tully was so cold during the session that he just couldn't get to sleep. Every time we'd take him out of the blanket to snap the pics, he'd tense up and cry. I broke down after we left the studio the first day too. As a new mom I'm constantly bombarded with advice, which I think I take pretty well, but when your baby is crying and someone's trying to convince you you need to bottle feed and give the baby a pacifier, it's tough. So I had to go back the next day for a new session. Luckily the room was much warmer, and the photographer was able to take some good photos without us using a pacifier or bottle. Here are a few of my favorites:

Although I was enjoying 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep last week, there was a trade off: nursing every hour during the day with a fussy and gassy baby. It was exhausting work, and Tully was clearly uncomfortable, so I knew something had to change. I read enough of the Babywise book to get an idea of what a schedule could look like for a one month old. The concept was that baby nurses every 2.5-3 hours, so I figured it was worth a shot. The trade off for longer times between nursings during the day? The return of 3am feedings and some 20-minute cry sessions before going to sleep. I do not fare well when Tully cries. It's heartbreaking. I feel worthless. I feel like a mommy failure, but the schedule Tully chose was negatively affecting his health (green diapers, gassiness), so I had to make the difficult decision to change something. John constantly has to reassure me that we're doing the right thing, but it sure doesn't feel that way when I have to listen to Tully cry. I told myself I would give this process a try for at least a week. I can't wait until Friday gets here, and I hope to see more improvement. The green diapers and gas are gone, but I want the crying to stop too. I also picked up two other books for ideas of feeding/sleeping schedules.

I'm not totally convinced the Babywise concept will work for us. Sometimes I just can't handle it. For example, earlier this afternoon instead of letting him cry himself to sleep I rocked that sweet baby until he drifted off to dreamland. It was so peaceful. Speaking of dreamland--I need a nap. Being a mom is HARD WORK!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

"C" is for Content

I've got three weeks under my belt as a new mom, and time is flying by. I had 19 days of absolute bliss, and BAM! day 20--fussy central. I think Tully had some major gas or growing pains because he let out high-pitched squeals and cried from 2:30 am to 9:30 pm. Poor little guy. But everything seems to be better now, and he is back to his content self . He really is a good baby, and I've enjoyed learning all about his likes and dislikes. He slept for 7 hours two nights ago and 5 hours last night. I'll take it!!

My mom has done an amazing job keeping track of Tully's adventures (and helping me keep my sanity) these first few weeks, so instead of duplicating her work, I'll let you visit her blog, which has tons of photos and stories. Here are several great posts on Tully:

Waking Up
Poopy Time
Daddy Pics
Newborn Photoshoot
Grammy and PawPaw Visit
Mailbox Story
Trip to Grammy and PawPaw's

As a new mom it takes a lot of effort to make complete sentences and paragraphs, so I'll give you a random list of my thoughts and answers to frequently asked questions instead.

My ideal ratio of adults to newborns for first ~~two~~ three weeks: 3 to 1.
Number of hours of sleep between feedings at night: 2 to 7.
Number of diapers changed so far: 249
Diaper brand of choice: Pampers Swaddlers > Huggies Little Snugglers. Better fit and less leaks with Pampers for us.
Average frequency of diaper changes: Every 2 hours
Time spent nursing: 4-6 hours per day. I'm like a walking, talking milk factory.
I really like the Baby Connect app for my iPhone: it tracks feedings, diapers, stats, meds, and everything else I need for the baby, and it syncs with the website.
Tully's nicknames: Milk Monster, Tully Bear
Tully loves to stare out the window and at the overhead lights.
He is a master at escaping mommy's swaddles but not daddy's.
He started cooing. It's so sweet.
He hates cold wipes during diaper changes.
It's amazing the things you can do with one hand or a foot: change TV channels, type on computer, eat, etc.
La Leche League meetings and Susan, the lactation consultant at Saint Francis South are both are excellent resources.
I never have enough CLEAN burp cloths/swaddle blankets/onesies WHERE I need them WHEN I need them.
I think my washer and dryer are on repeat. They haven't quit running in three weeks.
I'm starving all the time!

Books I'm reading:

These two books are nearly polar opposites as far as parenting styles go, but with all the advice I get as a new mom I figured I better read about both sides. So far I'm leaning towards attachment style parenting and demand feeding (LLL/Womanly Art of Breastfeeding), but I am considering implementing pieces of parent-directed feeding (Babywise). We will eventually need a schedule, so we'll see how it goes. For now I'm on Tully's schedule, and Tully says it's time for nap, so I better get some sleep while I can!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

"C" is for Crowder (cont.)

Remember my friend, Stevie, who was diagnosed with brain cancer last year? If not, see my post, "C" is for Crowder, from last May. Stevie successfully completed radiation therapy and has had several "clean" follow-up scans. Woo hoo! Head for the Cure has organized a 5K race which will take place on May 14 to honor Stevie for her faith, strength, and courage. I am really excited to take part in this event and raise money for TEAM STEVIE. Please join me in Stevie's fight against brain cancer by donating to Head for the Cure. All proceeds will benefit the Brain Tumor Trials Collaborative at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston where Stevie received treatment. Our team goal is to raise $10,000, and we are almost half way there. My personal goal is to raise $100, and these funds will go towards the team goal.

Click here to donate!

To hear more about Stevie and her story, view the video below or visit her blog, http://prayforstevie.blog.com/.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

"C" is for Childbirth

Tully is here! He was born on April 5 at 6:13 pm weighing 8lb 2oz and 20 inches long.

John Tully Cockerham

My birth experience was everything I wanted it to be. My husband, John, was there from start to finish, and I couldn't have done it without him. He was so calm and supportive. He was exactly what I needed, when I needed it, even if I didn't know I needed it. The Bradley childbirth classes definitely prepared us for the whole process, and I am grateful to have had my best friend and companion by my side the entire time. He has proven to be a great father!! My mom has also been a major player this past week, and I would be lost without her too. From labor and delivery to cooking, dishes, laundry, diaper changes, rocking, talking, and kisses for sweet Tully--my mom has done it all. When I've thrown in the white towel from complete and utter exhaustion John and my mom have been going strong. Thank you both!

Birth Story
I woke up at 5am on Tuesday and told John it was "go" time. Contractions were underway, and we notified parents, co-workers, and our midwife around 9am. We labored at home until contractions were three minutes apart for two hours and arrived at the hospital around 11am. The staff at St. Francis South (SFS) Hospital was amazing and so supportive of all our decisions. We did intermittent fetal monitoring, and it was SO much easier to labor without the monitors on my belly. Also, I only had the hookup for the IV in my arm but no IV tube was linked or running. I was a "don't-touch-me-don't-talk-to-me" laborer, so the less things on me, the better. After arriving at the hospital Tully went into a sleep cycle, and they gave me the option of eating/drinking juice or starting a small amount of pitocin. To stay in line with our natural childbirth plan I opted for food and water. Tully woke up within a short period of time, and I vomited up everything up. Awesome. We accomplished the goal of progressing labor without drugs up to that point, but I did end up requesting an epidural, which was administered when I was 7cm. (Soooo close to 10!) I'm sure I hit the transition phase of labor, which is where you think you can't go on, and when I did John asked if I wanted to wait 20 minutes to see if I could get through it. In accordance with our plan, I waited the 20 minutes, but I still wanted the epidural. Although I was disappointed that I didn't deliver naturally, I had done the best I could do, and we all agreed I made the right decision for some pain relief. Tully arrived a couple hours after the epidural and managed to inhale a huge amount of amniotic fluid on his way out. Silly boy just couldn't wait to take that first breath of air. The nurses quickly suctioned off the fluid and gave me my sweet baby boy. We bonded in the hospital over the next 24 hours with minimal interruptions from staff. I really was amazed at how little time they took him away for standard screenings and the circumcision. He stayed with me almost the entire time. This was really important to me, and we had chosen SFS because they didn't have a nursery, which meant they intended for the baby to room in with me too.

Funny story about the sleeping arrangements overnight in the hospital--in addition to John, my mom was there to support me during labor and for Tully's birth. I asked her to stay that first night in the hospital with us too. There was a fold-out couch and the hospital bed. Two sleeping spaces for three people. Hmmm...So John and I crashed on the fold-out couch, and my mom took the hospital bed. Every time the nurses came in to get my blood pressure or temperature, they would walk over to the bed and start talking to my mom. I'd have to wave from the couch and show them my hospital band, so they could tend to me instead. I was released just after 24 hours of delivery, and I know my support team was happy to sleep in regular beds that second night.

This past week has been a blur with lots of learning, but most of the time I've been too "drunk" on feel-good mommy hormones to notice anything but my precious baby. Breastfeeding my little milk monster takes up the majority of my day. He goes on these binges where he feeds every hour, which is more exhausting than not getting sleep. It's SO worth it though. I was worried that he wouldn't latch or that my milk wouldn't come in, but everything has worked out just fine. The bonding experience with breastfeeding is something I can't even describe. It is the most rewarding, heartfelt thing I have done in my entire life. It can be frustrating at times (in the middle of Target while shopping!), but I love, love, love it.

We've gone on several family walks with our dog, Zach, and he's adjusted well to the baby. He was overly excited and liked to lick at first, but after 48 hours he settled into our routine (or lack thereof), and he politely sniffs the baby when he wants to see what's going on. He's going to be a good big brother.

Here are a few pics of sweet Tully's adventures this past week.