Thursday, August 26, 2010

"C" is for Conference Calls

Since I work at home, I spend a significant amount of time on conference calls each week.  Today's conference call really took the cake though.  Here are some tips on how not to run a meeting:

1.  Notify participants less than 24 hours in advance.
2.  Make the meeting mandatory for ALL employees.
3.  Do not set up a conference line for employees working remotely.
4.  After staff begs and pleads, set up the conference line and distribute it to employees about 1 hour before the meeting.
5.  Do not email PowerPoint slides or handouts in advance but reference them extensively during your presentation.
6.  Allow people on the phone to type, cough, and shuffle papers while you're trying to conduct the meeting.  Under no circumstances should you ask employees to use the mute function on their phone so that others can hear.
7.  Allow people who are attending the meeting in person to ask questions that cannot be heard over the phone and answer them as if everyone knows what you're talking about.
8.  Do not ask if anyone on the phone has any questions.
9.  Abruptly end the meeting and do not indicate if employees on the line are free to hang up.

Happy conferencing!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds perfect! You have all the excuses you need...
    1) I didn't know
    2) I couldn't hear
    3) I couldn't see


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